Black Swan

75 degrees in November means one thing...time to get the horse out.  As a way to celebrate our nation's heroes on Veteran's Day as well as take advantage of the freakishly warm weather, we hit the road for a last chance ride.  Living in the midwest means that riding is pretty much limited to spring, summer, and fall, so any warm day past the month October is seen as the last chance to get out there and ride.  

We decided to ride out on IN-40 (Washington St) to Plainsfield, IN to hit the new Black Swan Brewpub.  Not yet an actual brewery, Black Swan offers pub food and a good selection of local beers on tap.  I was pleased to see that 80% of the beer offerings were from right here in Indiana; the selection included  3 Floyds, Sun King, Brugge, New Albanian, Mad Anthony,  and People's.  I'm guessing the usual crowd doesn't have much of a taste for good microbrews considering the waitress was suprised when we knew exactly what we wanted and she didn't have to explain the beers to us.  Also, there was a table next to us that spent $7 each on a sampler, only to turn their noses up at each of them except for the Sun King Cream Ale.  They ended up leaving with the full samples sitting on their table.  Shame.  

 (pic stolen from elsewhere...not from our visit but  someone else's who likes hops a bit less than we do apparently)

Anyway, the food was pretty awesome.  The selection was small, but the beef sandwich I got was phenomenal as were the frites.  I loved the dips and toss options that came with the frites.  The down fall of the place is the atmosphere.  The bar area was small and cozy, but the dining room looked like a cafeteria with metal tables and chairs and tacky flowers stuck into beer bottles.  I would definitely recommend sitting in the bar area, avoid the dining room. 

After lunch, we made a quick stop at the Indy West Harley dealership, then home.  Both our stop at the dealership and our trip home confirmed two things:  we hate Harley dealerships and turnabouts.  

-KJ

Time to go to Church, kiddos.

The Franks Come Out At Night - dream sequence Part 1

i can see a ton of these coming.  i have crazy dreams all the time, some i remember, some freak me out, anyway, here is one to start it off.

so i was working for my dad, he wasn't IN the dream but for some reason it was apperent that i was working for him.
we did excavating or junk collection or some kinda weirdness.
my first task was to cut a tree out of a yard.
BUT
the yard was fenced in and this fence was to be sold off, so no damage could find it's way to the fence.
problem is, the yard was like 50x100 feet and the tree was like 250 feet tall, 8 feet wide.
so we built this odd trampoline/slingshot looking thing to catch the tree on it's way down
we sent a robot monkey climbing to the top with a rope so that we could pull it in the direction of the sling-oline.
had a typical RC remote and everything.  pretty awesome.
i don't know how we ended up cutting it down, because the only tools we had were a Sawz-All and some sand paper.

well, about halfway through the process of setting up the sling-oline one of the neighbors pops over to one of the trees just on her side of the fence.
she aims to take this one down.
what is weird about this lady is that she looks like Crystal from the show Roseanne
(she started as just one of Roseanne's friends but later married Dan's dad, just so you know)
this tree is considerably smaller, like 3 foot round and 40 feet tall.
i offer the Sawz-All since she is carrying no tools but she says,
"Naw man, I got this."
and proceeds to just pick it up out of the ground, hoist it over her shoulder and trudge off to the west, like some get-it-done-yesterday-style-mom with Commando sensibilities and a knack for taking care of business.
she was whistling the theme to Doogie Houser MD as she moved along.

i don't know what happened with the tree next, becasue an urgent change of plans came via text to my wife.
my wife is working with me by the way.
she pointed out that,
"We could have all the robot monkeys in the world, but there is just NO WAY you can cut this tree down with that tiny saw."
she's always right.

we are to go clear out a garage ASAP in a house that is about to be auctioned off.
so we get to the house and in the living room there are a some fold out tables set up with snack items and finger foods,
baby carrots, crackers & cheese, some typical stuff,
but mostly it is Jell-O molds in weird ass shapes.
a few are really tiny and some are very large, one greatly resembled a birdbath; another, a television remote control.
only a few people are there at this time,
but they are in a heated debate on which is better:
the Jell-O mold shaped like a toaster or the sardines with melted cheddar.

moving out of there as fast as we can, we then procced to the garage.
it is FILLED with drums.  floor to ceiling, wall to wall.
shells, stands, cymbals (some silver, some bronze), bass drums, snares, random heads, cases, sticks,
i mean like one-hundred-and-seventy-two drum sets worth of shit.
so i scavenge myself a nice mish-mash-of-a-best-i-can-get-together drum set,
play some sexy beats,
then proceed to start loading the rest up.
some guy in a monocle and tuxedo comes up thinking i am the auctioneer and wants to make a bid on the house.
i tell him i am just clearing away the garage and not the auctioneer and he gets kinda mad,
proceeds to mutter things like, "Bwuahha bully harrumph harrumphhh bullybwhaa" like you'd imagine stuffy rich guys saying.
i guees i match the description of the auctioneer or something, but he decides he wants to offer me money for the drum stuff.
he hands me one of those cartoonish Money Bags with the $$ sign on it with $10,000 cash and says,
"Good Sir, I'll be having those drum ornaments now then?"

so we take that money and open up a Diner specializing in franks/hotdogs/brauts.
we call the place, "The Franks Come Out at Night"
but are only open lunch and old people dinner hours.
like all beef, chicken, turkey, wild game and all kinds of stuff.  the works.
it's probably a total success becasue indy needs a place like that.
even if there is one, it just needs another and to not be located near the other "one."

...so what did we learn from this dream...
- i wanna be a drummer (or at least have a set to play along with:  The Presidents of the United States of America, Beastie Boys, The Ventures, Pig Destroyer and DEVO, but probably mostly annoy my wife with)
- robot monkeys exist and they are awesome
- even in my dreams i don't have a mobile communicatory device
- i wanna own a resteraunt based on my seed money earnings from a Monopoly game

WORM

VEE EN ATE HUNDERD

I've always dug the VN800 as a platform for choppin'. Expect to see more examples.. Here is one i came across that i think is badass. I love the front wheel. Hardtail vn800 pics from Lowbrow Holeshot event "borrowed" from the kawasakimotorcycle.org forum. photos posted by El Skitzo... hope ya don't mind!  - pcm

happy melodic death metal!!!!

I saw Gorguts clear the room at a local all ages venue years ago when they were touring with Cryptopsy and Nile, i think...I'd heard them before, but that was not this shit. It was seriously one of the most disgusting live performances I've ever seen. i can see why many could not handle it. Maybe they were just peeing or something? who cares. It was also probably one of the coolest things I've ever seen and shaped my view of death metal ever since. No longer did many death metal bands cut it for me after that... I could not take my eyes or ears off of them. It was like a homeless man was shitting in my ears and screaming at me while randomly playing metal riffs with his frostbitten toes. Did they really write that shit? Hell yeah they did. The weird, dissonant, "skronky" album that is Obscura is still one of the best jams on the planet. -pcm

...Track One, Side One...

In this "assignment,"

i visit a random-as-a-squirell's-hat's-insurance-policies subject, and in it, tell you what i think to be my most fave, most fab (for the moment anyway) top five track one, side ones...

-of course i stole this idea from "High Fidelity" (and why not?  half of my days feel exactly like that movie, aside from the patchouli stink and former DJ experience), so i'll start my story there.

1. 'Taxman' from, The Beatles/Revolver [Parlophone 7464411]

any song that starts itself off with a count is already doing good in my book, unless you are counting in non-american speak, becasue then it is like i am kind of learning something and i'm not listening to music to get my learn on.

Def Leppard pulled a bad one, so go run laps : Sepultura, although, is allowed to do it in non-american.

the bass line is solid, the guitar work is talking right at you (the solo is SO perfect), the lyrics are excellently cynical in their delivery and content AND you get some tambourine.  win-win-win-win-win

you think you were twisting and shouting to 'twist and shout?'

well dance yer little tucos off to this solid album starter.

they shoulda let George Harrison start off more albums.

it might not get the party started if all of your mohawk friends are over

but if there are ladies in the house, it's way better than Pantera.

- standout lyric -

"Now my advice for those who die, declare the pennies on your eyes"

2.  'Strength Beyond Strength' from, Pantera/Far Beyond Driven [EastWest 92302]

i'm not gonna sit here and say i listen to Pantera much,

if even at all anymore,

but the teenager in me went apeshit for Pantera.

how many crappy metalcore bands have stolen this breakdown?  doesn't matter, they eat rat poop.

they wrote some awesome riffs and this is their best example.

first riff especially.  fast, powerful, different.  still stands up for me.

in retrospect, dudes' lyrics are retarded.  but i'm not really sure what else could be expected from him.

- standout lyric -

"You're muscle and gall. Naive at best. I'm bone, brain and cock.  Deep down stronger than all."

3.  'No Culture Icons' from, The Thermals/No Culture Icons [Sub Pop 611]

so, this is from a single, so this shouldn't even come up in this topic (it appears as track #3 on their full length "More Parts Per Million," but i don't have that one, so whatever, the game is changing right in your face, it's probably a different recording anyway, so stuff it), but it DID just come up into my earholes and it reminded me how much i like the song

(and this band), so, there you go.

it's four-on-the-floor, 1234 american garage rock and the song only lasts 2:21,

so you can play it on your FM stagstations if you want.

- standout lyric -

"Hardly art, hardly starving, hardly art, hardly garbage"

listen here dickweeds! 

4.  'Deepwood' from, AVAIL/Over the James [Lookout 195]

there ain't no way to pick the best AVAIL song,

there ain't no way i can hear AVAIL and not feel good

there ain't no way i can hear AVAIL and not feel like a thousand other people also feel the same way

there ain't no way i can hear AVAIL and not feel that no matter what happens in life, no matter what comes your way, no matter what kinda bullshit you step in while walking in the rain to pick up your last check from a job you hated doing anyway, there will always be AVAIL, and there will always be an AVAIL song to remind you that things will eventually be allright.

and right now, 'Deepwood' wins.

you often hear poeple say things like,

"if i could do it all over again i'd, yadda whathaveyou go back to school blah blah work harder blah."

well.

If I could do it all over again, i would have gotten into AVAIL as a much, much younger person.

- standout lyric - 

"i know i haven't always been around, but i can help you lead and take the blame anyway "

5.  this one is a total cheater as it is four tracks, so technically NOT a track one, but MUST absolutley MUST be listened to as one track as they go right from one to the other to the next and to the next.

"Don't Eat the Yellow Snow/Nanook Rubs it/St.Alphonzo's Pancake Breakfast/Father O'Blivion"

from, Frank Zappa/Apostrophe (') [Zappa Records 310589]

humor - check

awesome call and response back up vox - check

Jack Bruce on Bass - check

tales of how to handle the weather, breakfast, royalty and business ethics- check

awesome prog rock - check

memorable chorus-like passages - check

i miss the times of tying songs together.  i miss concept albums.

i miss being a wasted teenager and listening to Zappa with my friends while trying to figure out time signatures, crazy poly-rhythms, chord structures, key changes and these remarkably clever lyrics.

Frank Zappa was a genius and there is an entire catologue of work to back that up.

this is my absolute favourite 11-ish minutes of his work, most of which i can listen to at any given moment in any given mood.

- standout lyric - 

"He went right upside the head of my favorite baby seal, and he went

WHAP

with a lead-filled snowshoe,

and he hit him on the nose and hit him on the fin,

and he

that got me just about as evil as an eskimo boy can be.

so I bent down and I reached down, and I scooped down and I gathered up a generous mitten-ful of the deadly

YELLOW SNOW"

 

- Worm

my kaw

She is not a chopper, although little bits have been pulled from her here and there over the past couple years. She is not a bobber. I love chops and bobs but, this one, she ain't. She is cooled by liquid. She ain't got a chain. To some she's not hip because of that stuff, or because its not an HD, or because she's Japanese. But I don't give a shit... I love her. Y'all can worry about your own rides. She's big and fat and taking that into consideration, pretty fast. She's got tall bars and is bouncy like a caddy. She fits my 6'5" self quite well... My 2005 Kaw Vulcan 1500 classic.-pcm