so i was working for my dad, he wasn't IN the dream but for some reason it was apperent that i was working for him.
we did excavating or junk collection or some kinda weirdness.
my first task was to cut a tree out of a yard.
BUT
the yard was fenced in and this fence was to be sold off, so no damage could find it's way to the fence.
problem is, the yard was like 50x100 feet and the tree was like 250 feet tall, 8 feet wide.
so we built this odd trampoline/slingshot looking thing to catch the tree on it's way down
we sent a robot monkey climbing to the top with a rope so that we could pull it in the direction of the sling-oline.
had a typical RC remote and everything. pretty awesome.
i don't know how we ended up cutting it down, because the only tools we had were a Sawz-All and some sand paper.
well, about halfway through the process of setting up the sling-oline one of the neighbors pops over to one of the trees just on her side of the fence.
she aims to take this one down.
what is weird about this lady is that she looks like Crystal from the show Roseanne
(she started as just one of Roseanne's friends but later married Dan's dad, just so you know)
this tree is considerably smaller, like 3 foot round and 40 feet tall.
i offer the Sawz-All since she is carrying no tools but she says,
"Naw man, I got this."
and proceeds to just pick it up out of the ground, hoist it over her shoulder and trudge off to the west, like some get-it-done-yesterday-style-mom with Commando sensibilities and a knack for taking care of business.
she was whistling the theme to Doogie Houser MD as she moved along.
i don't know what happened with the tree next, becasue an urgent change of plans came via text to my wife.
my wife is working with me by the way.
she pointed out that,
"We could have all the robot monkeys in the world, but there is just NO WAY you can cut this tree down with that tiny saw."
she's always right.
we are to go clear out a garage ASAP in a house that is about to be auctioned off.
so we get to the house and in the living room there are a some fold out tables set up with snack items and finger foods,
baby carrots, crackers & cheese, some typical stuff,
but mostly it is Jell-O molds in weird ass shapes.
a few are really tiny and some are very large, one greatly resembled a birdbath; another, a television remote control.
only a few people are there at this time,
but they are in a heated debate on which is better:
the Jell-O mold shaped like a toaster or the sardines with melted cheddar.
moving out of there as fast as we can, we then procced to the garage.
it is FILLED with drums. floor to ceiling, wall to wall.
shells, stands, cymbals (some silver, some bronze), bass drums, snares, random heads, cases, sticks,
i mean like one-hundred-and-seventy-two drum sets worth of shit.
so i scavenge myself a nice mish-mash-of-a-best-i-can-get-together drum set,
play some sexy beats,
then proceed to start loading the rest up.
some guy in a monocle and tuxedo comes up thinking i am the auctioneer and wants to make a bid on the house.
i tell him i am just clearing away the garage and not the auctioneer and he gets kinda mad,
proceeds to mutter things like, "Bwuahha bully harrumph harrumphhh bullybwhaa" like you'd imagine stuffy rich guys saying.
i guees i match the description of the auctioneer or something, but he decides he wants to offer me money for the drum stuff.
he hands me one of those cartoonish Money Bags with the $$ sign on it with $10,000 cash and says,
"Good Sir, I'll be having those drum ornaments now then?"
so we take that money and open up a Diner specializing in franks/hotdogs/brauts.
we call the place, "The Franks Come Out at Night"
but are only open lunch and old people dinner hours.
like all beef, chicken, turkey, wild game and all kinds of stuff. the works.
it's probably a total success becasue indy needs a place like that.
even if there is one, it just needs another and to not be located near the other "one."
...so what did we learn from this dream...
- i wanna be a drummer (or at least have a set to play along with: The Presidents of the United States of America, Beastie Boys, The Ventures, Pig Destroyer and DEVO, but probably mostly annoy my wife with)
- robot monkeys exist and they are awesome
- even in my dreams i don't have a mobile communicatory device
- i wanna own a resteraunt based on my seed money earnings from a Monopoly game
WORM
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